The Camper Chronicles: Genesis

In the beginning, there was the great outdoors. It was full of life and possibility and wonder under an enormous sky. Domestic man saw the outdoors and it was good. Then man said “Let there be shelter,” and there was shelter. He built the shelter from sticks and leaves so that he may not be rained upon.

And man said, “Let there be fire,” and there was fire. And he did use the fire for warmth and for the roasting of vegetables and meats. Left over furs did lay all around and man said, “Let us make clothing, and so be not naked.” Woman agreed but also said “We could use one as a rug, like Mrs Jones in the shelter in the next woods.” So man made clothing and soft furnishings.

And man then said, “Let there be drink,” and there was drink. So he did take fruit from the trees and shrubberies and did press the juices into containers and supped, wantonly. He saw it was very good. So much did he create that some was left at the back of the shelter, beneath raffia work wall hangings. On discovering some time later he did find it to be fermented, but tasty. Within an hour and having consumed three full containers he saw that it was bloody marvellous. It made him sing and dance with abandon. He did tell his wife repeatedly that he loved her, baby.

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